Rachel & Stephen Share Sophia's Story

Rachel and Stephen recently shared their story of Sophia, Rachel’s daughter and Stephen’s wife, and her journey through cancer. They created a beautiful board filled with photos that captured Sophia’s strength and advocacy for body image and the importance of regularly checking your breasts. They gifted this board to us to honour Sophia’s memory and inspire others through her story.

Rachel shared “Sophia never wanted to allow her illnesses to control her life. When she started chemotherapy, her first statement was cutting her hair and dyeing it pink. Once her hair started to fall out, she thought no, it’s coming out, but I’m deciding when, so she shaved it. She chose where and when, and she shaved it, making a big point to show everyone that she’d done it with a smile on her face. That sums up her journey a lot, she approached everything with so much positivity.

She was a huge advocate for body image, and got her brother to take photographs of herself which is so remarkable. To stand for a photo and expose yourself at your most vulnerable state, she is such an inspiration. So many people have fed back to us and told us what an inspiration she is too.

The woman in me looks at these photographs and thinks wow, what an amazing person she was. So mindful and switched on.

It took Sophia a lot to come to terms with how her body looked after so many surgeries, but she was always adamant that her body did not define her. This carried on through to when she had her vasectomy. She wanted to show people that this loss didn’t define her character. She put herself out there and said “hey, it’s okay. Look at me”. She carried all of this with an excellent sense of humour, and every single photograph is showing her just laughing.

When Sophia introduced me to Stephen, I saw a ring of angels around him, and they were together from that day forward. Stephen has been with Sophia for the most special years, and you got your wedding. The hospice helped that come true.

Stephen said “I owe the hospice a lot, because this hospice is the reason I get to say that Sophia was my wife. And that means a lot because it wouldn’t have happened without the hospice.

Dr Deane took me into a room, sat me down and said I'm really sorry, but we're at the end of life now. Without going into the details, he said and now we've got a wedding to arrange. And boy did they do that. 

The minister came at 3pm, we got a bouquet of flowers, we got a cake like no other cake with flowers around it, my son got his camera for her wedding photos, and we had garlands on either side of her drip stands. It was a remarkable day. 

You have a preconception of what a hospice will be like, and you don't imagine that as a 30 year old you would necessarily need a hospice. So, I think that was quite striking for me really, how comfortable we felt here. You don’t imagine that you’re going to have your wedding in a hospice, but I can’t thank the hospice and the staff enough, because we both got our day. 

One of the most powerful things about coming to the hospice was the relief when we got here. It was a huge weight off our shoulders. It’s the environment but it’s also the staff. The empathy and the care that you’re shown not only as a patient but also as the family of that patient, you’re included in a way that you’re not in other places. 

That’s so important, because this journey for us is continuing, and what we got from the hospice is a part of our memories of Sophia.

The staff couldn’t do enough for Sophia, but also for us. And that’s continuing now, through bereavement support 18 months later. They have this amazing way of giving you 110% hands on care, but equally giving you the same amount of privacy. It was remarkable, right through until the very end when we walked out of this building.

I am just so grateful that my daughter got the death she would have wanted. And I can’t believe I am saying that, when she was only 30 years of age.

It’s something that everyone should have access to. A dignified death, with the care they deserve, and somebody sat by their side. This is what the hospice gives and I’m eternally grateful for it. 

I couldn’t find the words to properly express my gratitude, it’s a very deep feeling.

It was really difficult to come back to the hospice, even when I came 6 weeks ago for the bereavement counselling. But that in itself was remarkable too. I remember walking in for the first time and I just sobbed, from walking through the door to leaving. It was a part of my healing journey to walk back through these doors, but these things take time. 

It doesn't matter how much we sit here and talk about Sophia, we would never get across the kind of person she was. She was a force. Things revolved around her and she was very respectful and determined."

We'd like to wish a huge thank you to Rachel and Stephen for sharing such a powerful story and the beautiful images of Sophia.